The War Inside

Crack, Crack, Crack, BOOM .. the war rages on,

The 2 sides fighting for dominance,

The outcome is unknown to you,

So much violence, so much fear,

You scream but noboy hears you .. nobody is listening,

Heh, figures, nobody could care less .. who would care bout you?

You see the people passing by, see the beautiful young lady,

But they don't know whats going on .. what the truth is,

You don't speak a word of it,

Don't murmur a syllable,

You know the war you fight inside of you,

But they wouldn't understand,

How can they understand it?

You are alone in your war,

It consumes you and will not relent,

You fight for every inch of air,

But .. you can't stay afloat .. you're drowning,

The war .. heaven vs hell .. you against yourself,

Each time you want to give up,

Each time you want to just want to say screw it .. they wont miss you,

God gives you a reason each time,

You don't know why but something comes up to stop you,

To keep you from pulling the trigger,

To keep that knife from going down into you,

If God doesn't give you a reason, then your not looking,

You don't see it or you can't understand it,

But God has given you a reason,

For me, I do not know why God doesn't let me fo it,

Let me end my own fight inside,

End my pain and suffering inside,

He knows I am scared of asking her the question,

Of opening a scarr because she may say no,

To only have a moment of bliss,

To have a moment where you can actually speak those words,

To ask her if she wants to go off to do something,

Will she think I'm strong if I ask for a date,

Or weak for only asking as a friend?

Why does this fear stop me?

Why does this fight inside consume me?

That will be answered in time,

For all I can do now is just pray I get the sregnth I need,

Maybe one day .. maybe I'll be able to ask one question,

But for now, this fight inside will still rage on over her,

And over every thing else in my life,

Making me miserable and cry,

Thank you for my life God.